It’s a women’s ward so a man stands out like a sore thumb here and is to be closely watched...
She is forty-something, a mother of five... She’s a sorry picture... She just lies there, a mere shadow of a human being…all skin and bones... almost not there!! Except for her abdomen which is grossly distended by the cancer growing in there, flourishing at her expense. Her eyes follow our every move. That , and the slow rise and fall of her chest are the only indicators that she is still with us. Those sunken hollows plead with us to help, to release her from her suffering one way or another...
He’s always there... He feeds her, dresses her… We talk to the patient through him, for we don’t speak her language. We ask our questions and he only occasionally has to consult her; he knows most things about her and her illness off head. We explain that we cannot operate just yet; she is very unwell, we must be sure of where the cancer is coming from and how far it has spread. He nods his understanding, tells her what we’ve said, airs her concerns and queries...
We ask, “You are her husband?”
He replies, “She is my sister.”
13.12.09
THEY SUFFER IN SILENCE
She’s in pain, it’s obvious. So what keeps her from asking for help? Uncertainty? Lack of familiarity with her surroundings and the systems and protocols governing it? Maybe so, but the urgency of her condition should override the wish to do the right thing here; she ought to demand for attention.
She knows this, but is still held back. Why? Because, in a society where women are not expected to be bold and aggressive, she cannot assert herself even though it would be the natural course of action. She must sit and suffer until the powers that be deem her worthy of their attention.
Or, another may speak for her-her husband. He might as well, because her current plight is his fault! Besides, he is a man; they’ll listen to him.
You think? On a ward for women, not much attention is paid to the other half of the species.
He approaches someone for help, aggressively begging, politely demanding that his wife be seen. The listener tells him something, maybe politely, maybe not. Whichever it is, the thoughtline is the same…”He is a man. What does he know about the pains of women? He’s just hysterical, as happens to most untrained men faced with a woman in this state…”
It isn't fair, is it? That a woman should sit silently till noticed at all times, whether she feels like this little life she has carried at the very core of her has suddenly turned against her and wishes to tear its way to the surface? That she should wait for her case to be pleaded by a man, one who will never experience the pain that she must endure to bring him honor?
She knows this, but is still held back. Why? Because, in a society where women are not expected to be bold and aggressive, she cannot assert herself even though it would be the natural course of action. She must sit and suffer until the powers that be deem her worthy of their attention.
Or, another may speak for her-her husband. He might as well, because her current plight is his fault! Besides, he is a man; they’ll listen to him.
You think? On a ward for women, not much attention is paid to the other half of the species.
He approaches someone for help, aggressively begging, politely demanding that his wife be seen. The listener tells him something, maybe politely, maybe not. Whichever it is, the thoughtline is the same…”He is a man. What does he know about the pains of women? He’s just hysterical, as happens to most untrained men faced with a woman in this state…”
It isn't fair, is it? That a woman should sit silently till noticed at all times, whether she feels like this little life she has carried at the very core of her has suddenly turned against her and wishes to tear its way to the surface? That she should wait for her case to be pleaded by a man, one who will never experience the pain that she must endure to bring him honor?
5.12.09
THIS WAS BEFORE......
I wish you knew how I feel about you
I wish you even cared
Sometimes I think I should let you know
But honestly, am SCARED!!
I wish you even cared
Sometimes I think I should let you know
But honestly, am SCARED!!
17.9.09
BEFORE MARRIAGE...
He: Yes, At last!! It was so hard to wait!
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it!
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She:Will you kiss me?
He:Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy? I'm not that kind of person.
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
AFTER MARRIAGE...
Simply read from bottom to top...
26.8.09
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio:
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more."
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument.. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret,you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19.. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more."
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument.. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret,you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19.. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
18.8.09
Forbidden Love
Am happy when am in your arms
for there I know am safe.
Am hidden from the world, it's harms
and all those who would laugh.
You hold me and I feel no fear,
you touch me and I sigh,
you kiss me...am no longer there
coz then I float...I fly!
In your arms i am a child,
but I'm also a queen.
In your arms I can be wild
and I can safely dream.
I step away, I start to see
and then I start to doubt.
Though this is where I want to be
maybe it's not where I ought.
The dreams are naught but morning dew
that fades with rising sun.
I fight, the feelings to renew
but my fairy wings are gone!
I try to leap, to step right back
into the circle of your arms.
But I cannot, I'm held back
by my doubts, from that safety ring.
I return to your arms, the feelings too
of love and safety and peace.
I dream great dreams of me and you,
of flying and freedom and bliss.
I'd love to stay right here always
in the circle of you arms...
hidden for the rest of my days
from the world, it's threats and charms.
But time goes on...The only way
to hold it still, right here,
would be in death forever to stay
in the cold dark arms of Eternity.
Am happy when am in your arms
for there I know am safe.
Am hidden from the world, it's harms
and all those who would laugh.
You hold me and I feel no fear,
you touch me and I sigh,
you kiss me...am no longer there
coz then I float...I fly!
In your arms i am a child,
but I'm also a queen.
In your arms I can be wild
and I can safely dream.
I step away, I start to see
and then I start to doubt.
Though this is where I want to be
maybe it's not where I ought.
The dreams are naught but morning dew
that fades with rising sun.
I fight, the feelings to renew
but my fairy wings are gone!
I try to leap, to step right back
into the circle of your arms.
But I cannot, I'm held back
by my doubts, from that safety ring.
I return to your arms, the feelings too
of love and safety and peace.
I dream great dreams of me and you,
of flying and freedom and bliss.
I'd love to stay right here always
in the circle of you arms...
hidden for the rest of my days
from the world, it's threats and charms.
But time goes on...The only way
to hold it still, right here,
would be in death forever to stay
in the cold dark arms of Eternity.
26.6.09
4.6.09
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